Iced Coffee & Life

The Obsession of Self

Dark clouds seduce the sky as rain thunders down, it’s days like these the past creeps upon me. I sit sipping an affogato under a canape of vines, my body aches and my eyes are heavy from lack of sleep, yet my mind echoes, I’m far past the point of tiredness.

The obsession with self warps the minds of many, as egos rule with ‘success’ as their feul, for some the battle seems lost as they drench their soul with gold. Sometimes it is hard for me not be repulsed by the sickly sight (or is it more so an energy?) Of superficiality, greed and pure obsession that intoxicates the air when walking through the city some nights.

Of course there is a healthy feeling of wanting to look good, looking after yourself and wanting to look your best. I myself enjoy nothing more than the feminine ritual of applying makeup and the romance of perfume, yet there is a point where one lets go and says “that’s enough”. I’m talking more so of a narcissus, and some are much better hidden than others and much harder to spot, yet the poisonous air that surrounds them, wraps around their victims.

Many people in the western world are chasing a dream that simply does not exist, a dream that is created in the minds of those ruled by ego and fear. Appreciate life and what you have as until you master this nothing will ever be enough.

Lately I have been looking for red dresses, I have developed quite a thing for them (a deeper shade not bright red). So I’m trying to find another for my growing collecion, and maybe some new shoes. Not that I will be buying anything though, as my poor bank account aches with the amount of cafes visits I make and food stops I indulge in, chocolateries scream my name.

I’m also looking for a new job, a new start to something as i have tired of my current positions. I can’t help but feel slightly lost as what direction I want to take in life especially surrounding hobbies and interests, as i fear I’m becoming somewhat of a recluse (more than usual) that sits at home cooking, making coffees, designing interiors in her mind, dreaming of fleeting moments and scribbling thoughts, and when I do leave the house its to spend more time with myself. I feel I’m going through a growth stage and in some sense am incubating.

Musique: Nature Boy by Paolo Nutini

Toni-Yvonne

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This entry was published on January 16, 2012 at 1:09 am. It’s filed under Inspiration, Life and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

17 thoughts on “The Obsession of Self

  1. I hope that you can find the right job that you are looking for at the moment. It’s tough out there, unfortunately. 😦 Keep us posted! These pictures are all so gorgeous.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

  2. Good luck, darling. I hope that you find everything you’re looking for. Take this time and come out knowing exactly what you’re looking for xoxo

  3. Hope you find a great New Job for the New Year best of Luck Dear
    http://fashberries.blogspot.com/

  4. You have such a way with words! Good luck in finding the job you dream of and hopefully in doing what you love. πŸ™‚
    Ada

  5. Such a lovely post and beautiful imagery… I can see myself skimming through your archive now! πŸ˜‰

    Great words too… I wish you all the best in finding a new job that you love! I’ll ask Dawn re: what she studied to get to where she is, but I have a feeling that you need to have some kind of chemistry degree or possibly Cosmetic Science – but that’s only worth it if you’re going to become a Cosmetic Product designer.

    Asos have got a brilliant sale, not sure how long it’s going to last though… you can chekc the box for red dress, perhaps there’ll be something there!
    x.o.x.o

  6. You really have a way with the words. πŸ™‚

  7. This is your year – I can feel it! I hope that you find exactly the type of work you are looking for! πŸ™‚

  8. Best of luck to you in your new job……its such a hrad thing sometines to find the right “fit”. Its sometimes a job we LOVE, but cant accept because of the pay….or a job we really dont care for but HAVE to accept because of the pay…..Im sure you will find something your heart will truly love:)

    A Blog of Life & Everything in Between!

  9. Love your thoughts and images. I have been exactly where you are and know how hard it is, but it’s also exciting as anything can come from this period of time. I know you will find a great path!

    xo Mary Jo

  10. amazing words and images! know that feeling, kinda of being lost and found! x
    http://some-kind-of-style.blogspot.com/

  11. CinZilicious on said:

    Thanks for letting me know that you have changed your blog site to here, i wouldn’t want to lose track of your inspiring posts, now would i? hehe..;-)

    A very poetic and relatable post indeed. I agree, the soul has this strange thing that it does to ourselves. We keep searching and searching for the perfect thing, and we really just have stop for a while and appreciate what we have now. I guess we all need reminders to reflect on life as we live in such a hectic and superficial world.

    I am very surprised, in a good way, of what you enjoy to do in your spare time, especially at your age. What you do sounds really relaxing and soothing to the mind. I gather you are more on the creative side??=) Don’t sweat it, your life will eventually lead you to where you wanna go so go with the flow!!! Actually i’m still going with the flow, lol. I once heard that life is a growing path, and we will keep growing and learning up to the day we leave this world. Yup, that’s a whole lot of learning eh!!!!

    Best of luck with finding a new job and may it lead you to your dream job, or at least improve your cash flow (so you can get that red dress!), hehe. Yes, a red dress sounds very alluring too πŸ˜‰ Maybe you can window shop and buy it when you can afford to do so? I love going for cafe visits too, it’s sooo relaxing!

    Anyway, keep up your blog, i will be following no matter how many times you change it! And it’s alright, life is about change after all, right?=D

    Cinz
    http://cinzee.wordpress.com

  12. Oh to be a Muse on said:

    I sometimes fear that I’m becoming a bit of a recluse myself. But good luck in the job market.

    Lovely photos in this post and a great message.

  13. Okay first, i LOVE your blog. it is stunning and I am so happy to know it. And I fear I have already become a reclusive. I find that i enjoy my own company more than any one else’s πŸ™‚

    Good luck on your job hunt!!

    http://www.clarabelleblog.com

  14. Such a lovely piece. The pictures here make me want to run away to Paris or the tiny streets of Venice…

    http://www.styleonthecouch.com

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