Dark clouds seduce the sky as rain thunders down, it’s days like these the past creeps upon me. I sit sipping an affogato under a canape of vines, my body aches and my eyes are heavy from lack of sleep, yet my mind echoes, I’m far past the point of tiredness.
The obsession with self warps the minds of many, as egos rule with ‘success’ as their feul, for some the battle seems lost as they drench their soul with gold. Sometimes it is hard for me not be repulsed by the sickly sight (or is it more so an energy?) Of superficiality, greed and pure obsession that intoxicates the air when walking through the city some nights.
Of course there is a healthy feeling of wanting to look good, looking after yourself and wanting to look your best. I myself enjoy nothing more than the feminine ritual of applying makeup and the romance of perfume, yet there is a point where one lets go and says “that’s enough”. I’m talking more so of a narcissus, and some are much better hidden than others and much harder to spot, yet the poisonous air that surrounds them, wraps around their victims.
Many people in the western world are chasing a dream that simply does not exist, a dream that is created in the minds of those ruled by ego and fear. Appreciate life and what you have as until you master this nothing will ever be enough.
Lately I have been looking for red dresses, I have developed quite a thing for them (a deeper shade not bright red). So I’m trying to find another for my growing collecion, and maybe some new shoes. Not that I will be buying anything though, as my poor bank account aches with the amount of cafes visits I make and food stops I indulge in, chocolateries scream my name.
I’m also looking for a new job, a new start to something as i have tired of my current positions. I can’t help but feel slightly lost as what direction I want to take in life especially surrounding hobbies and interests, as i fear I’m becoming somewhat of a recluse (more than usual) that sits at home cooking, making coffees, designing interiors in her mind, dreaming of fleeting moments and scribbling thoughts, and when I do leave the house its to spend more time with myself. I feel I’m going through a growth stage and in some sense am incubating.
Musique: Nature Boy by Paolo Nutini